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Une souche complètement souchée

DSCN1243Bien-sûr qu’on s’est tous demandé un jour ou l’autre com­ment on fait pour faire dis­paraître une souche d’arbre ! Parce que trébucher sur cette saleté de souche à chaque fois qu’on passe par-là, ça com­mence à nous plaire, non mais c’est vrai quoi à la fin !

DSCN1256Alors, on se pare de sa plus jolie tronçon­neuse (hum… oui, celle que Chéri nous a offerte pour notre anniver­saire même qu’on croy­ait qu’on allait recevoir le joli bracelet qui était en vit­rine… pffttt…), on se fait toute jolie avec tout l’équipement de sécu­rité, les oreilles de Mickey pour se pro­téger les tym­pans, la jolie salopette rem­bourée de dou­ble pro­tec­tion (hum… oui un peu comme le bon­homme Miche­lin mais en vert et en moins slim…) le casque orange (euh… vrai­ment ? mais la souche elle est pas en l’air, elle est au sol…), les godil­lots, les lunettes, les gants et un chouilla de pét­role, on est prête ? Alors runGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRR…

Avec sa tronçon­neuse, on fait des entailles sur le dessus de la souche. J’ai essayé de laisser ma créa­tiv­ité s’exprimer et dessiner un cœur, mais le résul­tat était pas bien bril­lant, du coup je vous mon­tre mes car­rés, mais on peut être fous hein les plus téméraires fer­ont des cer­cles ou des tri­an­gles… Que rien ni per­sonne ne nous reti­enne (faites gaffe les mecs, j’ai quand-même une tronçon­neuse dans les mains…) Et ça marche aussi avec une perçeuse, un marteau et un burin ou avec ses out­ils en silex comme les hommes des cav­ernes. On fera des trous des p’tits trous dans notre souche et si on a envie de pousser la chan­son­nette et de poinçon­ner les lilas on peut parce qu’on fait assez de bruit pour cou­vrir notre voix …

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DSCN1248Une fois qu’on est con­tent avec le résul­tat, on verse un peu d’eau dans les entailles ou les trous et on recou­vre tout bien comme il faut avec des copeaux de bois… on laisse agir… on laisse agir… encore un peu… Mais bon sang ! mais faut être PATIENT ! c’est la nature, ça prend du temps ! Oui mais moi je trébuche tou­jours sur cette souche alors y en a marre !

DSCN1249Et puis un beau matin, ooohhh mais regarde c’est dégeu ça com­mence à devenir glu­ant mouillé champignons verdâtre et brunâtre… oui, c’est la nature qui fait son tra­vail. On la retient sa nausée et on recou­vre encore et on attend.

Et un beau soir, beuaaaarkkkk y’a même du jaune main­tenant… et de la mousse glu­ante, c’est dégeu répug­nant ! On recou­vre encore et on patiente. Et si pos­si­ble, après la cinquan­tième fois où on trébuche sur cette même souche, on essaie de se sou­venir et on regarde où on les fout ses pieds !

Et quelques lunes plus tard, on se retrouve le nez dans l’herbe, les qua­tre fers en l’air et une entorse à sa jolie cheville… AH NON NON NON, on a pas trébuché, que nenni que nenni ! parce que notre belle souche ben elle a DISPARU … pour laisser place à un… trou ! Aïeouille…

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    • Ah non non, sors pas, tu tapes dans le mille avec ta fougère, c’est l’emblème en NZ 🙂 pou­vais pas faire mieux !!! Vu que c’était l’été ça a pris env­i­ron deux mois (et c’est long deux mois quand tu te prends les pieds dedans chaque coup !) Oh je vois qu’on a un spec­i­men iden­tique ? Bah, pour son anni je me suis offert le petit bracelet 😀

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